2020 had issues

We Can’t Fix Everything, But We Can Fix This!

Here we are, a little over a week into 2021. 2020 went out appropriately in our area with loud groaning. A huge weather front with strong and loud straight-line winds moved through our region about midnight. It sounded as if 2020 was protesting it’s demise on the way out! I know many people who were more than ready to see 2020 relegated to the history books. It was a tough year!

We welcome 2021 into our lives with open arms and hopeful expectations. We hope that the new year brings a brighter future than we have experienced during the last 12 months.

Even though we are hopeful, we know that we still have a long way to go to turn the corner on the issues that 2020 shined it’s cruel spotlight on. The ugly big three issues of 2020 for me were:

The Ugly Big 3 of 2020


2020 saw too many COVID related problems!

Even though death count and the number of new cases continues to rise in our area, we remain hopeful. The new vaccines are rolling out across the country and we all hope they will be effective in helping to turn the corner on this terrible plague that has wreaked havoc on our country and world. Last New Year’s Day, who among us could have predicted the year that we suffered at the hands of Covid? None of us know how this drama will play out but we hope that we will return to a semblance of normalcy before year’s end.

2020 Race Relations and Riots

The issue of race relations that has been festering in our country for some time. 2020 seems to have shined a spot light there for all to see! Although it appears that we have a way to go, it seems to me that progress has been made. Hopefully we as a country will continue to grow, learn and heal together and we will enjoy better times together in 2021 and beyond.

The 2020 Presidential Election

This was a tough election cycle and it’s not quite over yet. Regardless of the politics, I believe that most of us can agree that we’re glad that the process is almost over and we’re ready to move on! The new administration may be better or may be worse – only time will tell.

It seems that new presidents have historically made promises regarding things they thought they could accomplish – only to find out that there was that pesky little body down the street named ‘Congress’. It remains to be seen how our collective government fares in the new year. If we don’t like the choices we have made, the new election cycle will start heating up in about 18 months, so we will have the opportunity to try again!

Can We Make a Difference?

The above issues were the ones that made national news most often during 2020, but there were many other nation, state and local issues that captured our attention – for good reasons and bad! Which issues were the Ugly Big 3 for you? The big national issues are important but we often feel powerless to make meaningful change. While we hear a lot about these things, and wish they would get better, but ‘only wishing’ without action doesn’t help. We can do a few things – for example: I wish Covid-19 would just go away; I wish race relations would suddenly get better; and I wish the political process was easier and nicer.

In each of these things, I can do a few things but not everything. To minimize the spread of Covid-19, I can take personal action to make a difference by wearing a mask, washing my hands and practicing social distancing. In the area of race relations, I can take personal responsibility for my own actions, I can listen and learn and I can speak up when I see injustice rearing its ugly head. In the area of politics, I can and should exercise my opportunity to cast a vote in the presidential congressional and local races – but when the election results are in, I have to accept the results and move on.

The Area Where We Can Make a Huge Difference!

Even though we may not be able to make a major difference in the national issues of the day, we can make a huge difference in the personal issues that have an affect on our daily lives. In this area, the ball is squarely in our court. We absolutely have the opportunity to seize control of our own future and move things in a positive direction in 2021.

What areas of your life would you like to move in a positive direction in 2021? Likewise, for you, which were the best and worse of 2020? Which areas deserve your attention? Which areas of your life will motivate you to say “I can’t fix everything, but I can fix this! And the fixing starts today!” I bet that there is something that you would like to change and I bet you can do it! It all starts with a decision to take action.

Resolutions vs. Habit Change

While we can make resolutions – that may sound good, but may vanish like Momma’s pecan pie at Christmas dinner, we do have the power to make changes that will make a difference in our lives. Join us in Monday’s edition where we discuss the difference in resolutions vs. habits. We will talk about ways to implement some changes in our lives that will actually ‘stick’ and that will make a difference.

In the meantime, just know that you have the opportunity to make some changes this year that will make a difference in your life and in the lives of the seniors you are helping. What changes will you make this year to make a positive difference in 2021? Hit reply and let us know.

Stability Without Stress

Because we have been asked so many times, Cindy & I decided that we would do what we have never done before (yes, the events of 2020 may have inspired us!) – we are presenting an online training series — LIVE!  During the month of January 2021, we are offering an interactive deep dive training that we have entitled Stability Without Stress.  This Course will be offered LIVE over a period of 4 weeks.  

The trainings will held once a week via Zoom. We will present that week’s course content and will answer your questions live during the call.  We will also have “office hours” each week via Zoom (or phone). You will be able to ask any questions that you were not able to ask during the course. AND if you can’t virtually attend the course live, we will give you a website where you can watch the replays at your convenience.

During the term of this course we will be asking you questions as well.  We know that COVID-19 has changed everything.  Many people can’t get out of the house.  Many others are reluctant to bring in outside caregivers for fear of spreading the virus to their loved ones.  There are so many issues now that didn’t exist last year at this time.  As a result, all these unwelcome changes, many families have had to drastically change the way they interact with and provide assistance to their declining parents.  We want to know what changes you have made in the last year and what things you are struggling with.  We want your input, and we want to address your concerns.  The whole purpose of this course is to discuss the issues help to come up with some solutions!

Why are we doing this? 

This is a good question that we have asked ourselves many times.  As you can imagine, to commit to something like this takes a ton of time, which is time we really don’t have.  We are carving out time away from our Elder Law Practice to make this happen.  

We are only doing this because we have received so many ‘What happened to Mom?!‘ questions over the years about these issues AND because we see the massive pain and hurt that is experienced by all of the adult children of declining parents.  You want so much to help but may not know where to start.  You want to help but don’t know how to get past the roadblocks.

The purpose of this course is to get you past these roadblocks.  It is to help you gain stability in your lives and in the lives of your parents… AND to get that stability while minimizing the stress that is felt by you and by your aging parents.  We hope you will join us in the 4 week interactive course, which will start January 14th.  Please go to stabilitywithoutstress.com for more details and to register.

About the Author

Doug & his wife Cindy have not only helped hundreds of families with their estate planning and elder law needs over the years, but have personal experience as caregivers and advocates for their Loved Ones as well.

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