Time to Pull Out The Old and Plant the New!

The seasons are changing and now it’s time to focus on autumn. Last night, Cindy & I pulled up some of the last remaining recently deceased remnants of the garden that we planted earlier this year. Many of these plants had served us well, but like all good things, they had served their purpose and now it was time to move on.

We are looking forward to planting the autumn garden this weekend. Yes, we’re probably a bit late and some of it may get nipped by the frost – such is life! Even if it’s late, it’s time to make some changes!

Time to Pull Out the Old!

So, what’s not working for you now? As we are in the process of transitioning from summer to autumn, this may be a good time to take a step back and look at your “garden”. What in your life is not working now? What’s cluttering up your garden space that needs to go? If you pulled out some things and made space for others, what would these things be?

For example, what are some old habits or ways of doing things that need to change? One thing that needed to change for me was my diet! Last year, just about this time, I went on a multi-month diet and lost about 25 pounds. I felt really good about the change, but as I was getting within striking distance of my weight goal, I got busy and distracted and “took my eyes off the ball”. I’ve let a few pounds creep back in! Well actually more than a few! I’m still down from where I started last year, but need to “get back on the wagon”.

It’s amazing how the changing of the season made me think about that. When I checked the calendar, it was almost the exact same time last year that I started my weight loss habit. My goal this year is to stay focused until I get there! It’s not that hard – it’s just a matter of focus!

What’s something that needs to be pulled out of your “summer garden” this autumn? What are some old habits that just need to go? Maybe (like me), it’s complacency. Or maybe it’s just procrastination – you know what to do but just haven’t done it.

Planting the New this Autumn!

Let’s talk about “the conversation” with Mom – this is an easy one to put off! There are many things to talk to Mom about but having “the what would you want if…” conversation is not one of them. It’s easy to put off. But this may be a good time to sit down with Momma and your siblings and come up with a great going forward plan for Mom. Think about what would work for her, while (also) working great for the whole family.

We see so many who put this off until the day something bad happens! Trust me – that’s not the best day to start your planning process!

It’s not easy to initiate these conversations with your Mom or your siblings.

No one wants to talk about things like:

  • What would you want to happen if your health got worse?
  • Would you want to stay here?
  • Bring in non-home caregivers?
  • Move closer to one of the adult kids?
  • Would you like to check out some Assisted Living Facilities in the area?
  • Discussing ways to pay for necessary future care.
  • Who is authorized to help?
  • Estate Planning in Order?
  • Have legal documents and finances been reviewed lately?

Not easy conversations! But if done with kindness and patience, you will be able to come up with a good plan! AND know that it will probably take “more than one bite at the apple”. It’s not easy for Mom either! Just to realize that you are declining and will need an ever increasing amount of help in the future is a bitter pill to swallow for many.

Plan to have multiple conversations with Mom and your siblings to get to the best result. AND remember the kindness and patience part! Both go a long way!

We wish you the best as you work to come up with the best solutions for the benefit of the declining parent in your life.

We want to be friends!

Ok. That might come off a little fast, but we are always here to help. Summer, spring, autumn, even winter! We fully understand the stress and turmoil that you are facing as Family Caregiver – including personal experiences with burnout.

In our time as caregivers, we have amassed a wealth of knowledge that we desire to pass on. We understand the emotions involved while making necessary decisions. Likewise, we have met many professional caregivers, as well as other family members who were thrust as Family Caregiver. All caregivers have shared the same advice – Join a community! There is nothing more cleansing for our situation than knowing that we are not alone!

We have since created Caregiver Connection. Caregiver Connection is a newsletter that we write personally and send to fellow Caregivers. It is full of tips, tricks, direction and even professional advice. If you would like to sign up, click the button below.

Please Invite Someone to Our Newsletter

Being an Adult Kid who is helping mom as she is declining can be a scary, frustrating and lonely place lacking stability. You feel like you are solely responsible for solving Mom’s problems while managing yours. Some occasional input and a community to plug into would help, especially when facing burnout! This is a way that all of us can be working together as caregivers!

Many others that you may personally know are having to figure it all out by themselves. Most of them have no community. Please take a minute and do them a favor. Copy this link – – and send it to them in an email or private message. They can click on it and subscribe to our newsletter for free.

Then they can enjoy weekly tips and encouragement. They no longer have to feel so alone in their family caregiver journey. They will appreciate the favor! Thank you for thinking of them!

Thank You for being a Caregiver for Your Loved One – you are making a huge difference in their life!

About the Author

Doug & his wife Cindy have not only helped hundreds of families with their estate planning and elder law needs over the years, but have personal experience as caregivers and advocates for their Loved Ones as well.

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