As I sit in my living room, surrounded by the memories of my mother, I can’t help but smile. The past few years have been some of the most challenging of my life, but they have also been the most rewarding. Please permit me to share my Caregiver Reflections & Ruminations.
A Well-Known Tale
It all started when my mother’s health began to decline. She had always been an independent woman, fiercely strong-willed and determined. But as she aged, she started to struggle with simple tasks, and it became clear that she needed help.
At first, we tried to make do with home health aides, but it quickly became clear that my mother needed someone she could trust to care for her. That’s when she asked me to take on the role of her caregiver.
I admit that I was hesitant at first. My mother and I had a complicated relationship, filled with years of misunderstandings and hurt. But as I spent more time caring for her, I began to see a different side of her.
Making the Most of the Time
We spent hours talking about everything and anything. We talked about her childhood, my childhood, and all the moments in between. We laughed together, cried together, and forged a bond that had been missing for so long.
I’ll never forget the way her eyes would light up when I would bring her favorite meal or how she would always tell me I was doing a good job, even on the days when I felt like a failure. She had a way of making me feel like I was her hero, even though I knew she was the strong one.
We had some difficult times too. There were moments when I would be so drained from caring for her that I would snap at her or moments when she would be so frustrated with her failing body that she would lash out at me. But through it all, we always found our way back to each other.
One of my favorite memories is from the day we went to the beach. It was a beautiful day, and my mother had been asking to go for weeks. I was nervous about taking her, but she was insistent. So we packed up the car, and off we went.
When we got there, I helped her out of the car and onto the sand. She sat in her beach chair, watching the waves and smiling. I could see the joy in her eyes, and it made all the work and worry worth it.
We sat there for hours, chatting and enjoying each other’s company. It was a moment of pure bliss, and I knew I would always treasure it.
As my mother’s health continued to decline, I knew that our time together was limited. But I tried to cherish every moment we had left. Even in her final days, we shared moments of laughter and love.
Now that my mother has passed away, I find comfort in the memories we built together. The laughter, the tears, the moments of joy and the moments of sadness – they all come together to form a tapestry of love and connection that will stay with me forever.
As a caregiver, I know that the journey was difficult, draining, and emotionally taxing. But I also know that it was worth it. The memories we built, the relationship we restored, and the time we spent together – these are gifts that I will always treasure.
Fictional, Not Fake
The preceding Caregiver Reflections were a fictional, yet heartfelt, account of a caregiver’s journey. While our journeys as caregivers may differ in specifics, the paths we are on remains extremely similar. Yes, your days may be emotionally exhausting, physically taxing, and seemingly impossible. Let this tale encourage and remind you to treasure these precious moments that you have been gifted.
Not a Happy Visit to Mom’s
There is a sad dilemma which plays out in many homes during holiday get-togethers: The kids come home for what they thought would be a short visit – then encounter an emergency situation with their parents.
In some cases, the parent had slowly declined over the past year and had reached a point where a care decision could no longer be delayed. Some decisions, however, to be made now and the kids knew that it had to be made quickly.
Quick decisions were necessary because (1) Mom or Dad’s health required immediate action; (2) the kids had very little time to act; (3) they couldn’t just go back home without doing something.
Many of these kids did take some action such as doing family meetings, seeking immediate medical attention for their declining parent and taking actions to make homes safer.
But they knew they needed to do more and are still struggling with the question of what to do next. It is for this reason that we wrote Mom’s Christmas Shocker. This book discusses the very situation that we discussed herein, which is how to make a difficult decision such as discussed above in a very short period of time.
To read more about Mom’s Christmas Shocker click on this link to go to the page where this book is discussed in greater detail.
Were YOU Shocked During a Recent Visit?
Were you shocked over the Holidays when you visited your parent and realized things are worse than you thought? You have your own life, work and responsibilities. What will you do? Let our eBook help you with your “speed planning”.
We’ve been there & we understand.
That’s why we wrote a book to help you make the best decisions for your parent as quickly as possible.
We want to be friends!
Ok. That might come off a little fast, but you can trust us. We want to help! We fully understand the stress and turmoil that you are facing as Family Caregiver – including personal experiences with burnout.
In our time as caregivers, we have amassed a wealth of knowledge that we desire to pass on. We understand the emotions involved while making necessary decisions. Likewise, we have met many professional caregivers, as well as other family members who were thrust as Family Caregiver. All caregivers have shared the same advice – Join a community! There is nothing more cleansing for our situation than knowing that we are not alone!
We have since created Caregiver Connection. Caregiver Connection is a newsletter that we write personally and send to fellow Caregivers. It is full of tips, tricks, direction and even professional advice. If you would like to sign up, click the button below.
Please Invite Someone to Our Newsletter
Being an Adult Kid who is helping mom as she is declining can be a scary, frustrating and lonely place lacking stability. You feel like you are solely responsible for solving Mom’s problems while managing yours. Some occasional input and a community you can trust would help, especially when facing burnout! This is a way that all of us can be working together as caregivers!
Many others that you may personally know are having to figure it all out by themselves. Most of them have no community. Please take a minute and do them a favor. Copy this link ~> help.mom/cc <~ and send it to them in an email or private message. They can click on it and subscribe to our newsletter for free.
Then they can enjoy weekly tips and encouragement. They no longer have to feel so alone in their family caregiver journey. They will appreciate the favor! Thank you for thinking of them!