Family Roadblocks

The Art of Working Together as a Family

There are many “roadblocks” along the road of each Caregiver Journey. Many roadblocks can be summed up into three different categories: Family Roadblocks, Geographic Roadblocks, and Financial Roadblocks.

As such, dear reader, we are embarking on a journey of our own together. This article will be the first of a three part series. Today we will discuss Family Roadblocks. Please keep arms and legs inside the car at all times; buckle up and hold on.


They can be the greatest joy or the greatest source of grief. The greatest help or the source of the greatest hurt, the greatest friend, or the greatest foe. In our years of law practice which has been devoted primarily to elders and their families, we have seen all of it.

We see many situations where, at the very time in their life when a declining Senior needs their family the most, the help sometimes doesn’t arrive. Worse yet, if it does arrive, it’s often counterproductive. Instead of acting like grown adults, the adult kids may revert to acting like they are stuck in their “terrible twos”.

Yes, this is a stressful time. The adult kids often realize that one of their beloved parents is slowly dying right before their eyes and they feel powerless to do anything about it. They may see their “well parent” struggling mightily to help, despite their own health issues. They may see their parents are “in over their heads” and despite their valiant attempts to manage the situation – they need some help.

I have personally witnessed many situations where an elderly wife or husband, who had been retired for years and was in a weakened physical and cognitive condition, was struggling to understand fairly complicated issues required to help their declining spouse. Instead of experiencing their golden years, they were being pulled into one of the most stressful times of their life. Such situations pull hard at my heartstrings.

Visual Learner

Are you more of a visual person? We also have a YouTube video where we discuss Family Roadblocks. Head over to our Help Me Help Momma YouTube Channel to check it out! While you’re there, don’t forget to subscribe and hit the bell!

You are One of the “Good Ones”

Just by the fact that you are reading this witnesses to the fact that you are one of “the good ones”. You are a caring spouse or one of the adult kids who loves your parent to the core and will do everything possible to ensure that they get the best possible care. You know they are declining and need your help. Even if you live at a distance, you are doing everything you can to help. You may know you could do more, but may be facing a roadblock. Some personal, geographic or family issue, may be holding you back.

Many families have been separated by geographic distance and time demands. However as we have learned from the recent Covid-19 experience, we can be anywhere via Zoom or FaceTime. Even if you live across the country, you can virtually be there to help.

Navigating Around the Family Roadblocks

Join us here for the second leg of our journey as we look at the two different family types and ways that family members can substantially help. Even if (1) You live at a distance from Mom or Dad; (2) Are busy with your job and family; and even if (3) there are lingering family “differences” – you can still substantially help. There is nothing easy about this process, but there are ways to help.

We have seen so many families who wanted to get around some of these roadblocks and help, but just didn’t know how to do it. Next week, we will discuss some of these roadblocks and ways to navigate around them. Please join us!

We want to be friends!

Ok. That might come off a little fast, considering we barely know each other. However, we fully understand the stress and turmoil that you are facing as Family Caregiver.

In our time as caregivers, we have amassed a wealth of knowledge that we desire to pass on. Likewise, we have met many professional caregivers, as well as other family members who were thrust as Family Caregiver. All caregivers have shared the same advice – Join a community!

We have since created Caregiver Connection. Caregiver Connection is a newsletter that we write personally and send to fellow Caregivers. It is full of tips, tricks, and even professional advice. If you would like to sign up, click the button below.

About the Author

Doug & his wife Cindy have not only helped hundreds of families with their estate planning and elder law needs over the years, but have personal experience as caregivers and advocates for their Loved Ones as well.

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