Planning for the Worst when Mom is already Worried
Susan’s Mom is worried…
What follows is a fictional (but very typical) situation that we see every week.
Susan’s Mom told Susan that she was worried as to what would happen if she developed Alzheimer’s. Mom was very well aware that Alzheimer’s ran in her family and the thought of this weighed heavily on her mind.
Mom didn’t know that she could make decisions such as:
- What type of care she would want;
- where that care would be provided;
- who would be empowered to make decisions on her behalf;
- And how her care would be paid.
Mom was worried and wondering whether her kids would carry out her wishes. Since Mom had never discussed these issues with her kids and had nothing in writing, the answer to the above question is most likely – No. They didn’t know what her wishes were and didn’t have a plan to make them happen. Mom probably wouldn’t get any of the above things she wanted. All of her plans were stuck in her mind, instead of being stipulated in legal documents.
Susan knew her Mom did not have any type of plan in place. Susan also knew that she would be the one to help Mom if Mom declined in the future. So Susan was very motivated to help Mom start her planning process.
With a little encouragement from Susan, Mom finally started the planning ball to rolling.
Getting the Planning Ball to Rolling
In this Mom’s case, it all started with a trip to her primary care physician. With Mom’s permission, Susan went with her to that appointment. After some testing and further medical evaluations, Mom’s doctor determined that Mom was suffering from mild cognitive impairment.
The doctor said that Mom was still able to carry on with her daily activities and make decisions on her own behalf, but he modified her medication and suggested that Mom get any planning in place
Mom met with her family to discuss the diagnosis. After discussing the type of care that Mom would want in the future if things go worse, Mom and Susan then scheduled a meeting with Mom’s Elder Law Attorney. The attorney put a plan in place that would make Mom’s future wishes happen.
Now that Mom has put her future wishes into writing, she knows that she will get the care she wants if she declines in the future.
Mom’s going forward plan will kick into gear and provide direction for her family if and when she is unable to make her own decisions or take provide for her own daily needs. At this point, her whole family can work together to provide assistance or to help her use her money to get the care she needs to stay at home.
We wish you (the Seniors of the world – and you (the Adult Kids) helping your parents, the very best and you work together with each other and with the professionals in your life to craft a great plan for Mom and for your family.
At Help Me Help Momma, we offer private coaching to help with this seemingly simple process. If we can be of assistance to your family, just contact us at [email protected]
We want to be friends!
Ok. That might come off a little fast, but we are always here to help. Summer, spring, autumn, even winter! We fully understand the stress and turmoil that you are facing as Family Caregiver – including personal experiences with burnout.
In our time as caregivers, we have amassed a wealth of knowledge that we desire to pass on. We understand the emotions involved while making necessary decisions. Likewise, we have met many professional caregivers, as well as other family members who were thrust as Family Caregiver. All caregivers have shared the same advice – Join a community! There is nothing more cleansing for our situation than knowing that we are not alone!
We have since created Caregiver Connection. Caregiver Connection is a newsletter that we write personally and send to fellow Caregivers. It is full of tips, tricks, direction and even professional advice. If you would like to sign up, click the button below.
Please Invite Someone to Our Newsletter
Being an Adult Kid who is helping mom as she is declining can be a scary, frustrating and lonely place lacking stability. You feel like you are solely responsible for solving Mom’s problems while managing yours. Some occasional input and a community to plug into would help, especially when facing burnout! This is a way that all of us can be working together as caregivers!
Many others that you may personally know are having to figure it all out by themselves. Most of them have no community. Please take a minute and do them a favor. Copy this link – help.mom/cc – and send it to them in an email or private message. They can click on it and subscribe to our newsletter for free.
Then they can enjoy weekly tips and encouragement. They no longer have to feel so alone in their family caregiver journey. They will appreciate the favor! Thank you for thinking of them!
Nothing herein is intended to be legal advice. These are just things that we have seen various families try when struggling with this difficult issue. Each situation is unique and requires specific professional assistance to resolve. Please contact your local medical or legal advisors to seek assistance in appropriately resolving this issue for your family.
Thank You for being a Caregiver for Your Loved One – you are making a huge difference in their life!