Mothers Day: Where Do You Stand?

Which Category Were You In On Mothers Day?

We celebrated Mothers Day a couple days before the writing of this article. Our sincere hope is that you had a great time with family, as well.

For purposes of our article today, we’re going everyone into one of three categories.

1. Some of you were fortunate enough to spend time with a Mom that is alive and well.
2. Others spent time with your Mom who is in the throes of a physical or cognitive decline.
3. For others, your Mom has already passed away. I’m in the third category. My Mom died several years ago, but it feels like it was only yesterday.

Today we’re going to talk briefly about situations where your Mom is in one for the first two categories mentioned above.

Where do you sit after Mothers Day?

Alive and Doing Well

It’s easy to take this stage for granted. They have always been alive and doing well – at least for all of your lifetime – so it’s easy to assume that this will continue for the foreseeable future. But as we all know, change can happen in an instant. My Mom had an unexpected stroke and her world (and mine) changed in that instant.

It’s important to have “your ducks in a row” so that if and when things do change, everyone involved will be prepared to weather the storm.

Here are a few things to consider:

1. Who will make property decisions for you?
2. Will the same person make health care decisions for you?
3. Who will get your property when you die?
4. Do the kids know where your financial accounts are located?
5. Are they able to access to this money to pay for your care?
6. Do they know where your legal documents are located?
7. Do they know what they are legally responsible to do?

These are just a few. The point is that there are several decisions that need to be made by the well parent while they are able to do so.

Along those same lines, it’s important that the family discuss the above matters so that if and when crisis time comes, everyone is prepared. Since a Mom Centered Family Meeting should involve the whole family, holidays like Mothers Day are the perfect opportunity.

Still Here But Not Doing Well

The other category mentioned above is a situation where your Mom is alive but is not well. You may have spent Mothers Day with a Mom who is struggling with physical or cognitive issues and needs your assistance.

For Mom’s in this category, there are also several things to consider:

1. Have they done necessary legal and financial planning?
2. If so, has it been reviewed lately?
3. If not, are they able and willing to get it done (quickly)?
4. Have recent Family and Medical Assessments been done?
5. Is the care received the best possible for Mom and the family at this state in her care journey?
6. Has the family discussed many of these issues at a family meeting?
7. Does everyone know what happens next?

Obviously there are many other things to be discussed, but this should get you started. The key is to not wait until it’s too late. As many have learned the hard way, you can’t dial back the clock.

We hope you had a great Mothers Day with your Mom. If she has already passed on, we hope you had time to reflect on some of the good times you had together while she was here.

Best wishes to you as you help your aging parents with their planning process.

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