Necessity Planning before you cook your frog

Planning for Mom AND You.

We have talked a lot about the necessity of planning for Mom so as to get the best going forward result for her in her life, both now and in the future. However planning for Mom alone leaves out one very important person, which of course is YOU!

Today, we talk a little about the necessity of planning for you and what we hope to accomplish by including you in the planning process from the very beginning.

Don’t Forget You!

It’s easy to forget you – but please don’t! When Cindy started caring for her Mom, her last thought was her. Her Mom started slowing declining and started needing just a little help. Cindy started stopping by in the morning for coffee, then going to work. It was only 30 minutes – then soon an hour – then soon an hour in the morning and 2 hours at night. Then soon much more than that. Fortunately a friend “got in her face” one day and told her that she had to get some help – NOW!

Cindy was on the fast path to caregiver burnout and didn’t realize it. She was so focused on necessity, planning, and caring for her Mom that she forgot someone – Cindy!

The Best Way to Cook a Frog

You’ve probably heard the old story about the best way to cook a frog. If you put them in a pan of boiling water, they’ll jump out. But if you put them in a pan of cold water and turn it up a degree at a time, you can cook the frog. Yes this is a crude story, but hopefully you’ll see the point.

If you are the primary Family Caregiver, please don’t let yourself be “cooked a degree at a time”. Realize that sooner rather than later, you need some help. Trust me, it is a necessity and you should be planning accordingly! It can sneak up on you and can have devastating results. The results can be even more onerous for those caring for a Loved One with Alzheimer’s.

On the Alzheimer’s Association Facts and Figures page, they discuss the toll that Alzheimer’s takes on Family Caregiver’s with Alzheimer’s. By the way, if you are caring for a Loved One with Alzheimer’s, this website is a great resource with a lot of great Alzheimer’s related information.

Fortunately, Cindy’s Mom didn’t have Alzheimer’s – but Cindy was the primary caregiver and was experiencing the results of being the primary Family Caregiver. Also fortunately, she had a caring friend that brought this to her attention and helped her get some help before it was too late. Cindy learned the necessity of proper planning on a whole new level!

If you are the primary caregiver for the declining Senior in your life, please get some help before the stress of caregiving takes its toll. As we’ve said before, when you add together

  1. The stress of caregiving.
  2. (And) Working 40+ hours a week at your job.
  3. (Plus) The stress of trying to “be there” for your immediate family

…this is a lot.

Sometimes It’s not easy

Sometimes you want to have extra help and realize you need it, but for various reasons, no help is available – we will talk about that dilemma and a few ways to help in upcoming blogs. Stay tuned.

We want to be friends!

Ok. That might come off a little fast, but we are always here to help. Summer, spring, autumn, even winter! We fully understand the stress and turmoil that you are facing as Family Caregiver – including personal experiences with burnout.

In our time as caregivers, we have amassed a wealth of knowledge that we desire to pass on. We understand the emotions involved while making necessary decisions. Likewise, we have met many professional caregivers, as well as other family members who were thrust as Family Caregiver. All caregivers have shared the same advice – Join a community! There is nothing more cleansing for our situation than knowing that we are not alone!

We have since created Caregiver Connection. Caregiver Connection is a newsletter that we write personally and send to fellow Caregivers. It is full of tips, tricks, direction and even professional advice. If you would like to sign up, click the button below.

Please Invite Someone to Our Newsletter

Being an Adult Kid who is helping mom as she is declining can be a scary, frustrating and lonely place lacking stability. You feel like you are solely responsible for solving Mom’s problems while managing yours. Some occasional input and a community to plug into would help, especially when facing burnout! This is a way that all of us can be working together as caregivers!

Many others that you may personally know are having to figure it all out by themselves. Most of them have no community. Please take a minute and do them a favor. Copy this link – – and send it to them in an email or private message. They can click on it and subscribe to our newsletter for free.

Then they can enjoy weekly tips and encouragement. They no longer have to feel so alone in their family caregiver journey. They will appreciate the favor! Thank you for thinking of them!

Thank You for being a Caregiver for Your Loved One – you are making a huge difference in their life!

About the Author

Doug & his wife Cindy have not only helped hundreds of families with their estate planning and elder law needs over the years, but have personal experience as caregivers and advocates for their Loved Ones as well.

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